Bathroom Humor

I'm off visiting Tek today. So you'll have to wait another day for the final batch of Busch Gardens pics.

To tide you over, we have a return engagement from Kinder Happy Hippo and Dog. ((You may recall them from this earlier filler ... ))



And that, kids, is why you should never play shark and try to scare your bathmate!

Busch Gardens - The Animals, Part 2

All Aboard!

The picture train is about to leave the station.

Please keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times. Do not try to stand up while the blog is moving. Secure loose articles, as this blog cannot be held responsible for lost or damaged property. Flash photography is permitted, but it might enrage the animals who will then maul you, and those seated near you. This blog will not be held liable for that, either. Do not fold, spindle, staple, or mutilate ... anything. Ever.

And, for heaven's sake, don't ever, EVER, remove those tags from your mattress. The Mattress Police will come and blow up your house, cook your pets, send your children to the salt mines, smear you with honey and stake you out over an ant hill in the blazing desert sun until you can state all the US Vice-Presidents in reverse alphabetical order while gargling spoiled milk and fish entrails.

This blog might be held liable for that, so please, for the sake of my family, DON'T DO IT! (Well, except the kids and salt mine thing, you can cause that if you want.)

Now that I've gotten you warmed up for the trip ... we're off!

I forgot to show you the very first pictures I took when we arrived at Busch Gardens. How inconsiderate of me.

Right past the entrance, with it's 738 shops, 327 kiosks, and about 63 eateries, (not to mention the hordes of annoying camera wielding staff who body block your forward progress and demand you hold still for a family picture you can pick up at the end of your visit for only $39.95, the deed to your house, your first born child, an arm, a leg, and whatever loose change you have in the little space between the front seats of your car), is the Morocco section.

A great animal habitat called Myombe Reserve is there. It's basically a primate preserve with chimps, gorillas, and other monkeys that you can get as close as a pane of thick glass to.

We didn't go in there.

I did take a a shot of the kids monkeying around, though.

Right before that entrance is a large habitat for American alligators.

Now, I live in Florida, so seeing these great reptiles is nothing new to me. They are not so prevalent, nor as easily located, as when I was a kid. Or as the popular myth of Florida being overrun with gators makes it seem. But you can find them in almost every pond, lake, or stream, man-made or not.

Floridians know to respect the alligator. Because if you don't, it might eat you. Or, at least your dog.

Anyhow, for those of you who live in more northern climes, here is a closeup of Alligator mississippiensis, the American Alligator. (And, yes, that is the true species name of it).

This bad boy was about 9 or 10 feet long. And, don't let his sun-basking, half-asleep look of calm serenity fool you. This beast is watching you, waiting for you to fall over the railing into his habitat, and wondering if you taste like chicken.

You can tell this by his toothy smile.

Back on track now.

After the Bird Gardens, Land of the Dragons, Stanelyville (SheiKra, Stanelyville Falls Flume), and a long trek, we found ourselves entering Timbuktu.

Timbuktu is the central area of Busch Gardens. It is done up in African-style wood and stucco buildings, brightly colored awnings, and the traditional African roller coasters, flat rides, and carnival games. No self-respecting African village is ever without those, you know.

The coasters are small ones, and the flat rides range from sedate bi-planes, to an inverted pirate ship, to a whirling Sandstorm. We didn't ride any of those this trip, though Sandstorm and Cheetah Chase are on my to-do list for the next trip. As well as the Pirates 4-D show which is in the old Dolphin show palace.

I used to love the dolphin show, but Busch had to close it down due to high costs, low attendance, and the fact that people kept tossing coins into the dolphin habitats and they got copper poisoning from all the pennies. Okay, the penny thing may be a local urban legend, but there have been documented cases of dolphins in captivity dying from copper and zinc poisoning from coins in their water, as well as chlorine poisoning. Sad, sad, sad. :(

So, while sad about the dolphins, we were still hungry. So we threaded our way through the carnival like atmosphere of Timbuktu and made our way to my new favorite restaurant ... The Desert Grill!

This used to be the Oktoberhaus. A German themed eatery with the best Black Forest cake you will ever eat, live polka bands, and literal dancing in the aisles.

Now, it is more in keeping with the whole African theme ... on the outside, at least. Inside is good, ol' American-style food, live floor shows, and chamber music when the floor shows aren't going on.

Seating is casual at long trestle tables with small benches. You go through a line and pick out the foods you want, almost buffet style, though servers are there to serve the hot foods. Then you pay for it, and tote it back to your table on a tray.

The food ... mmmm-mmmm ... the food. I had Grilled Chicken with Fettuccine Alfredo. It ran me about eight bucks, but it was a heaping plate full. And, the chicken wasn't some scraggly, thin piece of poultry. It was a thick, full breast of chicken grilled to juicy perfection. I also got a pickle. Not some dark green anemic from-a-jar pickle. Oh, no. This was a huge, almost 6 inch long (pre-sliced), near two inch thick delight of green dilliness. *slurp slurp*

But the best part, oddly enough, was the breadsticks. Best. Breadsticks. Ever.

I could have made a meal just out of those breadsticks. They were baked to perfection; golden brown, lightly buttered, a hint of garlic, paprika, and other spices. Soft, warm, and slightly chewy, I literally have had dreams about those breadsticks since then. Talking about them has made me hungry.

Yes. They were THAT good. Breadsticks.

Tyler got the same thing I did, though he said the chicken was bland. This is because if chicken has no breading or honey mustard on it, he doesn't believe it's real chicken. Tim got spaghetti, and he ate the whole portion of it. Quite a feat for him. Mom got a meatball sandwich, and she claimed it was the best meatball sandwich she has eaten in a long, long while.

There are other foods there; salads that looked so tasty you could feel the the lettuce crunching in your mouth by looking at it, other sandwiches piled with meat so high you need a skewer to hold them together as a mere toothpick would not suffice, and desserts so decadent you teeth began to rot just by ogling them.

If it were not for the lousy $9 parking fee, and the fact my mom cannot walk that far thus requiring a mobile scooter, I'd eat there quite often.

Enough about food. No snack carts on this picture train, and I don't want you falling off raving in hunger.

I showed you ride shots of Rhino Rally, but I didn't show you any animals from that adventurous, epic journey.

Unfortunately, you won't see many either. =/

The truck ride was so bouncy, so jouncy, that taking a clear shot was about as easy as picking your nose with a spoon. You can dig and dig, and you might strike gold, but it'll be a mess and probably painful.

Okay, that was gross, and there was no pain involved taking photos on Rhino Rally (except my poor knee that kept hitting the door hinge on every jolt). But, they were fairly blurry, and only a few came out mostly unscathed.

The first was an African elephant. Several shots were taken of him, but only one came out well.

This will be an ongoing theme with my animal shots from here forward. I think the animals were trying to tell me something. =/

There also was a Black Rhino habitat we drove through, but we only saw one, just as we were leaving the enclosure. The bugger was lazing in the shade of a small bluff, languidly watching us as we jostled by. I got lucky in that I only took one shot of him (and it came out well), and that he wasn't mooning me. Though it -was- a rearward profile.

You may have to look close to see him. Even though he is a Black Rhino, he is very dusty from rolling on the ground to cool off, and he almost blends in with the orangey-brown rocks behind him.

Shortly after, we drove through a crocodile enclosure. Right through the water! Of course, there was a very visible fence angling out towards where they presumably were. I didn't see any. I was on the opposite side of the truck from where they were supposed to be, but even far out in their lake, I saw nothing.

There was a freakin' huge one in a glass enclosure near Rhino Rally that I snapped a pic of after we left the area however. He's hard to see well, as the glass and water distorted his profile, but you can still see how huge he was.

There were two more animals I got clear shots of while on Rhino Rally.

One is some striped deer-like animal I cannot recall the name of. Impala? Antelope? I'm leaning towards antelope. It might some sort of small buffalo. I really cannot recall.

Either way, it's another butt shot. A blurry butt shot. It gives you an idea of what the other, blurrier pics must look like. =/

I swear the animals all had an early morning meeting before the park opened and decided that day was Ass Day, or something. *sigh*

The final animal I got a good shot of while on Rhino Rally was the elusive brown-maned, female Boogerdigger.

Aaaahhh, now my previous nose picking comment makes much more sense, doesn't it. ~.^

Now, to be honest, she may not have been actually digging in her nose. She may merely have been scratching it. Inside. with her finger nail. Repeatedly.

In her defense, it was hot and dusty in the area, and I had swiped my own knuckles across my nose in an attempt to quell the rising itchiness crawling around my nostrils. She just took it a step further and dug down to the root of the problem. >_>

And with that lovely image rattling around in your minds, I'll leave off this post. Tomorrow (or maybe Friday), I'll finish up with the pics of animals from my sojourn on the Serengeti Railway. There are thrills, spills, and even a few moments of unabashed "Aaaaaaaawww" to be had.

Until tomorrow.

And remember to take any belongings with you. This blog is not responsible for anything you leave behind. Because if you do, I'll sell it to pay for parking and go eat at the Desert Grill! Yum!

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 150 days is:

$14,272,
476,927,059,598,810,582,859,694,494,863,402,897,244.15

Busch Gardens - The Animals, Part 1

The wait is over!

Finally you get to see pictures of animals from Busch Gardens.

Like the Serengeti Railway, this'll be a long ride, with a few stops along the way. And, not everything you see will be animals.

Hop aboard, find your seat, break out the Big Gulp cup, and settle in. Here we go!

The first place we ventured through, other than Gwazi, were the Bird Gardens. The Bird Gardens is a lush oasis of greenery, water, and, of course, birds.

We didn't visit everything. In fact, we didn't visit much, and there is a lot to see there. There are several animals habitats, an aviary walk-thru, several stages (where no shows were playing *sniff*), and the requisite gift shops and eateries.

One of the first habitats you come across are some brightly colored parrots lounging about on a gnarled, old tree. We watched them preen and squawk for several minutes. Magnificent birds. You could see intelligence in their eyes, and I swear they were as amused by the brightly hued biped mammals watching them as we were of them.

A short distance away is the flamingo habitat. Flamingos are a very recognizable icon of Florida. Hundreds of the elegant birds flocked around, and in, a small lagoon called Flamingo Island.

These birds are not naturally pink. Their plumage gains this color from their diet of small crustaceans, usually brine shrimp. Well fed ones are bright pink, while an unhealthy flamingo might be pale pink to white, which is their natural color. These wading birds also stand on one leg for reasons unknown, though it is speculated it conserves body heat. I say they don't like getting their feet wet and dirty. ~.^

Most of them had both feet firmly on the ground the day I visited. The ones who didn't seemed to be in the water, or sleeping.

Across from Flamingo Island are two butterfly topiaries that I thought looked pretty. So I took a picture of them. The image doesn't do them justice. They were much more brightly colored in person. There were other flower topiaries, but people kept rudely interposing themselves between me and my intended shot. Most of them so they could take their own photos. I'm lucky I got this one, as some obvious foreign tourists blithely walked in front of me just as I took this shot. Fortunately, I could crop them out.

The Hospitality House is located in the bird Gardens, too. You can buy a fresh brewed Anheuser-Busch beer here, and get some fresh baked pizza. Expensive pizza, and not very big.

When I was little, you used to be able to get free samples of the beer. Assuming you were of legal age, of course. My first taste of beer was here. My Grandfather made me drink some of his. I thought it was horrible stuff. Yuck!

We used to get some beverages (beer for adults, soda for kids), grab a snack from the snack bar, and relax on the huge wooden patio overlooking Koi ponds and the Flamingos. No longer, though. The wooden patio is gone, the koi ponds are now remote controlled boat paddocks, and the flamingos .. well you can still sort of see them. *sigh*

It is still a very beautiful and relaxing location, with plenty of shade and seating. I just pine for the days of yore, I suppose. I also miss the old Brewery Tour you could take before they closed that down. Except the stairs. I don't miss climbing those long, long stairs to get to it.

While wandering through the Bird Gardens, we came across a small water habitat filled with turtles. A keeper was cleaning their habitat, and using a broom to sweep green and black sludge fro the bottom of their mostly emptied pond. The turtles were all bunched up, except for one brave terrapin who was trying to make good an escape.

I think he saw too many Spider-Man movies.

Close by, just before entering the Land of Dragons, is the Living Dragons habitat. All sorts of large reptiles were in this habitat. Even a very big Komodo Dragon. He was very close to the glass of his enclosure, and you really get a sense of the sheer massiveness of the beasts. His head was about the size of a small dog. He could probably eat a small dog in a few bites.

I even got him to say "Cheese!"

The kids even got to ride a Komodo!

Okay, so it was a statue of a Komodo, but it was about the size of the one in the habitat. Those suckers are huge! Err, Komodos, not the kids. ^.^;;

I don't want to bore you to death with more pictures today, so we'll pull into the station here. The train leaves again tomorrow around this same time. See you then!

---

Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 149 days is:

$7,136,
238,463,529,799,405,291,429,847,247,431,701,448,622.07

Postponed ... Again!

This time because, well, I'm being lazy.

Actually, I was up late last night (for me). It wasn't until around 1 AM that my head hit the pillows. When I awoke at 8 AM, my head was so stuffed up I couldn't tel lit apart from the pillows it was laying on.

I managed to drag my butt out to the couch where I promptly fell asleep again until noon. Then I helped get lunch ready.

My head is still throbbing; feels like it's full of wet cotton and banded with steel being slowly cranked tighter and tighter. I've taken some pretty strong pain meds, and will go unleash my soon to be addled self upon the unsuspecting World of Warcraft.

I did, at least, upload the 30+ pics i will eventually get posted for you to ooh, ahh, and mutter "We waited a week for this crap?" over.

So, enjoy your Memorial Day.

I'm going to kill digital beasties.

It Never Stops

*sigh*

I had planned on doing up my blog after lunch today. You know, all those animals shots from Busch Gardens? The ones I keep promising to put up, but never do?

Well, Mommie Dearest has decided that I am now going to take the boys out for haircuts. Then, to the library.

Okay, the library is my idea, as I promised them we'd go today assuming I wasn't sick or something. But I had planned on doing that around 4 PM. The library is only a few blocks away from Fantastic Sam's, where we go for their cuts.

It's 12:30 PM now. And we just finished eating. I get time to type and gripe because they do all the clean-up chores! muahahaha

I might ... *might* ... get the pics up today, sans my rambling anecdotes for each one. But that's not really fun. For me. You probably want to just see the pics and not read my drivel.

Then again, once we get back, I may decide to relax and kill a few hundred cold-eye basilisks in WoW. They have something I want. And they have yet to give it to me. I shall hunt them to extinction, ripping out their squishy eyes, intact spines, large tails, and curved claws, until they bequeath unto me at least one cold basilisk eye!

Drat! I hear the muffled grumbles of disconsolate boys. They must be done with their chores and grousing about getting their hair shorn. Muahahaha

They'll thank us at camp when it's 95 degrees in the shade.

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 147 days is:

$1,784,
059,615,882,449,851,322,857,461,811,857,925,362,155.51

A Complicated Post

I got to spend the morning in the grocery store filling up a cart worth of regular food and another full of kids-going-to-summer-camp food.

Lunch meat, bread, cheese, carrots, juice pouches, cookies, crackers, apples, pears, cheese sticks, fruit leather, fruit cups, chips, pretzels, napkins, snack baggies, sandwich baggies, and 2-gallon Zip-locs to put it all in everyday.

I was not feeling too well by the time I got home. I had not eaten, not taken my diabetic pill, was hot, was sweaty, was breathing hard from the hot, pollen filled air, and to top it all off ... I couldn't go!

Yeah, that kind of couldn't go.

It's a switch from my usual blow-me-off-the-bowl action my meds typically give me.

Therefore, the Busch Gardens Animals post gets postponed until another day.

In it's place, in honor of my current condition (and in hopes it helps with it), I bring you a video of Weird Al Yankovich's parody of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated".



The actual title of this song is "A Complicated Story", but most everyone calls it "Constipated".

And the song didn't help.

Even if I did laugh my head off.

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 146 days is:

$892,
029,807,941,224,925,661,428,730,905,928,962,681,077.75

Jurassic Fart (or, What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs)

Kids are out for the summer today, and unbeknown to me, Mom decided today was the day we were going through their drawers and closets to separate school clothes from play clothes from dress clothes, and come up with five camp clothes outfits.

*sigh*

So, you get farts ...

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 145 days is:

$446,
014,903,970,612,462,830,714,365,452,964,481,340,538.87