"God" Responds to Lawsuit

Yesterday I told you about State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha filing a lawsuit against God.

Today, God responded.

John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha stated a filing from God "... miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!"

"God" claims that Chambers' point that anybody can sue anybody simply doesn't apply in His case. Earthly laws cannot be applied to Him, and the court lacks jurisdiction. "God" goes on to state that blaming Him for human oppression ans suffering misses the point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is My greatest gift to you," according to the response filing.

I wonder if the Almighty will pull in the Devil as a material witness? Or, would he be too much a hostile witness?

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha is suing God.

The outspoken Nebraska state senator is attempting to make a point about frivolous lawsuits. And this one is about as frivolous as they get.

Chambers' suit claims God has made terroristic threats against constituents, inspired fear, and "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." The state senator also claims God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."

Even though Chambers has criticized Christians in the past, his lawsuit is not really an attack on the Almighty. Rather, it is in response to a recent federal suit against a judge who barred the use of the words "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.

I'm wondering if God will have to swear an oath on the Bible?

And, does anyone else think the fan in the background of the picture of Sen. Chambers sorta look like a halo effect?

Go to Seattle, Ride the SLUT

This is one of the funniest WTF stories I've seen in a while.

The South Lake Union Trolley in Seattle has the unfortunate nickname. It was quickly amended to South Lake Union Streetcar once the unfortunate acronym was realized, but the damage has been done. You can read more about it here.

What makes it even more hilarious, to me, is the trolleys are being installed by area developers Vulcan, Inc. (Who claim the SLUT acronym was never true, a new urban myth).

So, technically, Seattle will soon have numerous Vulcan SLUTs running about!

JK Rowling is Writing a New Book

J.K. Rowling, she of Harry Potter fame, is writing a new book.

Word on the streets, more accurately in the Edinburgh cafes she haunts, is the new book will be a crime drama, a criminal detective novel. [cite]

Now, that just seems a strange leap from the Harry Potter books to writing crime novels. Though, with all the dark doings, murders, and other deaths in the later books of the Potter series, perhaps it is not so much a stretch. And, there is much of detective work to be done, and mysteries to unravel, in the latter half of the Potter series. That they are swathed in magic seems to belay the fact that they are, at their heart, a mystery novel.

You can be sure curious readers the world over will snatch up whatever she puts out. But can she hold our attention sans Wizards and Muggles? Will the new book be kid-friendly, or geared more for adults? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Harry Potter and the Bloody, Dismembered Corpse, anyone?

I See London, I See France ...

A small, Southern town Some indecent exposure Overreaction

A Louisiana town has officially banned saggy britches.

You know, those drawer drooping dimwits that parade around flashing their unmentionables for all to see. I never got the supposed fashion statement they are trying to make. "Look at me, I'm an idiot"?

It was bad enough when it was just the waistband of their underwear being broadcast in Technicolor. Now, like the pic shown here, kids (and some "adults") are wearing their pants below the 49th parallel.

It can't be comfortable.

I want to rush over and yank the pants down the rest of the way whenever I see it.

Now, I don't find it particularly "indecent". The underwear baring butts are still basically covered. It's more stupid looking than obscene.

And I'm not entirely sure an ordinance against it, with penalties of up to six months in jail and a $500 fine, is any less stupid. It may even be more obscene.

And, the verbiage of this new law covers more than flashing your skivvies. (Hehehe I made a pun!)

The ordinance states, "It shall be unlawful for any person in any public place or in view of the public to be found in a state of nudity, or partial nudity, or in dress not becoming to his or her sex, or in any indecent exposure of his or her person or undergarments, or be guilty of any indecent or lewd behavior."

So ... women with those see-through blouses should fall under this law. (Another stupid fashion statement, btw.) What about middie tops? Are belly buttons next on the list of do-not-show?

Plumbers need to beware.

And what of those women with the hip-hugger jeans and those lower back tattoos (ha! lower back, upper ass is more accurate) that look more like a patch of unruly and highly displaced hair than art when more than twenty feet away?

What about breastfeeding?

Sure, I don't really want to see some woman whip one out and suckle her young while I'm trying to enjoy my milkshake at the mall food court. But, if discretion is used, and some modicum of modesty, it never truly bothers me. Inevitably, some bare flesh does show while breast feeding. Will that woman go to jail for nurturing her child?

It is a very broad-based ordinance. One with which I am not at all comfortable. It leaves much too much open to interpretation. And that paves the way for unequal enforcement.

Is this something that should be legislated? If so, aren't the penalties imposed above much too steep?

What are your thoughts?

Me, I'd just take a belt to 'em! ~.^

Tattooed Fruit

Ever seen an apple riding a Hawg? How about a cucumber rocking out on stage? An avocado eXtreme snowboarding?

Well, you won't see your fruits and veges doing any of that, but you may see them sporting tattoos. No, not pics of flaming skulls, tribal bands, or hearts with Mom in the middle.

If the FDA approves it, we may soon start seeing our once benign food sporting laser imprinted tattoos with expiration, point of origin, brand names, or any sort information on them. This could mean the end of those annoying little polyvinyl stickers no one can peel off without gouging a divot from your fruit. [cite]

The laser only penetrates the very top layer of skin, removing pigmentation, and leaving a legible imprint visible.

It does not damage the product or reduce shelf life, some claim. Others state decay first occurs at the lasered site, and that it gives easier access to germs to infiltrate the produce. Either way, it is edible, as no inks or polyvinyl is used, just a slight bit less skin on the tattooed parts.

I'm all for it.

I cannot stand those little stickers. If I'm not ripping holes in my tomato trying to get them off, I'm forgetting about it and choking it down with a bite off my apple.

Too, it is hoped that the indelible tattoos will help provide a more fool-proof alternative to product tracing than stickers, which can be peeled off. The hope is to more quickly track down where contaminated produce came from.

Some produce won't be able to use the laser etching; potatoes, cantaloupe, and other rough skinned produce. So, some stickers will still be around.

If this gets approved by the FDA, I foresee actual advertising on the produce within a few short years.

Nike swooshes on your peaches, anyone?

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 141 days is:

$27,
875,931,498,163,278,926,919,647,840,810,280,083,783.67

eBay - Weird Al

The supposed highest bidder on the General Lee car from "The Dukes of Hazard" has welshed on his record, nearly $10 million bid.

I wonder how many bids turn out to be fake on eBay? Probably as many items posted for sale.

I admit I'm scared to buy off eBay. Even though I know people who buy and sell through eBay with no problems at all, I am still petrified to do it.

Anywho, Weird Al has a great song about eBay and someone made a video out of it. So, here you go! ~.^

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UPDATE: Tek should be going home Friday. He'll be on medications and have some drastic changes to lifestyle to make (food, exercise, stress, etc.), but for now it doesn't appear as if any surgeries or other procedures are needed. Tek's wife wanted to thank everyone for their prayers for strength during this crisis and for guiding the doctors during the tests. Prayer for continued improvement and strength is still appreciated.

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Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 130 days is:

$13,611,294,676,837,538,538,534,984,297,270,644,572.15