The good way to solve the problems is via following the flowchart below
Friday, 3 February 2012
Thursday, 2 February 2012
A Canadian Journal
August 12, 2009 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's beautiful here. Mountains are very spectacular. Covered with snow most of them can not wait to see them.
October 14 - Canada - it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have all colors and shades give a red or orange. Go for a ride through beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are very elegant. They are certainly the most wonderful animals on earth.This must be paradise. I love it here!
November 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can not imagine thepeople who want to kill such a gorgeous creature can. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. F#cking snow plough.
Dec. 22 - More of that white ~love~ fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. ~censored~.
Dec. 25 - Merry F#cking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the ~censored~. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f#cking ice.
December 27 - More white ~love~ last night.. Every time it passes inside for three days now except for the snow plow shovel the driveway after that snow. You can not goanywhere, and that car is stuck in a pile of junk that has been badly so cold white.Weather is expected that another 10 inches of crap again tonight. Are you a full 10 inches of snow shovel Do you know what?
December 28 - # That f#cking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of crap this time. This rate does not melt before summer. Snow plow is stuck to the road, came to my door ~ censored ~, and asked to borrow my shovel. After I've told him I already had broken six shovels shoveling out all the crap he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his f#cking head.
January 04 - The day finally came out of the house. Go to the store to get food, the deerran in front of the car on my way back to the damned. About $ 3,000 damage done to the car. These beasts should be killed.Those beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere.Wish the hunters had
exterminated them all last November.
May 03 - Took the car to the garage in town. This means that out, they will believe they put all the rust from the salt all over the road.
May 10 - Moved to Florida. Because I live in a God forsaken place like Canada can not imagine somebody insane!
October 14 - Canada - it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have all colors and shades give a red or orange. Go for a ride through beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are very elegant. They are certainly the most wonderful animals on earth.This must be paradise. I love it here!
November 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can not imagine thepeople who want to kill such a gorgeous creature can. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. F#cking snow plough.
Dec. 22 - More of that white ~love~ fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. ~censored~.
Dec. 25 - Merry F#cking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the ~censored~. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f#cking ice.
December 27 - More white ~love~ last night.. Every time it passes inside for three days now except for the snow plow shovel the driveway after that snow. You can not goanywhere, and that car is stuck in a pile of junk that has been badly so cold white.Weather is expected that another 10 inches of crap again tonight. Are you a full 10 inches of snow shovel Do you know what?
December 28 - # That f#cking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of crap this time. This rate does not melt before summer. Snow plow is stuck to the road, came to my door ~ censored ~, and asked to borrow my shovel. After I've told him I already had broken six shovels shoveling out all the crap he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his f#cking head.
January 04 - The day finally came out of the house. Go to the store to get food, the deerran in front of the car on my way back to the damned. About $ 3,000 damage done to the car. These beasts should be killed.Those beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere.Wish the hunters had
exterminated them all last November.
May 03 - Took the car to the garage in town. This means that out, they will believe they put all the rust from the salt all over the road.
May 10 - Moved to Florida. Because I live in a God forsaken place like Canada can not imagine somebody insane!
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Ways to Come Home Drunk
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get
undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my
leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL Wakes
Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late!
"His friend looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my
shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap
her on the *** and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" And she acts like she's
sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!
other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go
home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I
get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get
undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my
leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL Wakes
Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late!
"His friend looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the
wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my
shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap
her on the *** and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" And she acts like she's
sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!
Monday, 23 January 2012
A good thing about SOPA
Recent talks on SOPA and humor on it..
Then you might think ..
Well he wouldn't, because they wouldn't sue him.
Different rules for different people
 | |||
| While the Biebs is in jail, I have a chance to win Selena Gomez's heart... |
Well he wouldn't, because they wouldn't sue him.
Different rules for different people
Monday, 16 January 2012
Funny Awesome Answers In IAS Examination
Funny Awesome Answers In IAS (Indian Administrative Services) Examination
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concre...te floor without
cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
(UPSC Topper)
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three
oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for
IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank
98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)
Interviewer said"I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really
difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"The boy
thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,
"It's the DAY sir!" "How"the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!"
He was selected for IIM!
Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the
master of presence of mind. This is a famous paper
written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an
eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with
source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote the
below answer and topped the exam!
* OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987* *ESSAY QUESTION*
Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)
Answer (After 7 blank pages, at the end of the
last page…): This is courage.
Hope you liked this
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concre...te floor without
cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
(UPSC Topper)
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three
oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for
IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank
98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)
Interviewer said"I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really
difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"The boy
thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me
this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,
"It's the DAY sir!" "How"the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult
question!"
He was selected for IIM!
Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the
master of presence of mind. This is a famous paper
written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an
eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with
source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote the
below answer and topped the exam!
* OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987* *ESSAY QUESTION*
Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)
Answer (After 7 blank pages, at the end of the
last page…): This is courage.
Hope you liked this
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Top Ten Redneck Humor
I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb Rednecks are. I challenge any so-called smart, worldly wise people to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state of Oklahoma vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawed pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns an Oklahoma house and 3.7 acres of land in a holler in Atoka County with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope in Muskogee County on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine in McAlester operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take Wilburton, a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate, to breed a country-western singer?
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state of Oklahoma vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawed pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns an Oklahoma house and 3.7 acres of land in a holler in Atoka County with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope in Muskogee County on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine in McAlester operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take Wilburton, a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate, to breed a country-western singer?
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