Short funny quotes

Short funny quotes for amusement and facebook status update, enjoy more on itshumour.blogspot.com

Many accidents occur in the home in the kitchen; Unfortunately, most of them come down on the table.

Character is only stubbornness, long live the gypsy.

One should not praise the mustard in a tube.

What is the gardener crocus, the plumber locus.

Students go to the cafeteria so long, until it breaks.

All that is fun is either immoral,prohibited by law or make you fat.

The first thing you lose on a slimming diet is a good mood.

The best thing about winter is that it is too cold to all to catch up the work, you are left in the summer because it was too hot.

A man with a large bank account can not be ugly.

Anyway, it's better to be a little square to be nothing than a round.

"Life is a lot like a roll of toilet paper: the closer you get to the end, the quicker it goes."

I was a beautiful baby, but then you have me mixed up in the hospital.

If I had not been born then I would have to play anyone at all.

When others think you are at the end, we must first start properly.

Youth is granted to us in order to repent of age.

You get old, to begin when people say that you look young.

The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves.


Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. - Irish Proverb

If no fools in the world would be, what would be the world? - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The head is round so that thoughts can change direction. - Francis Picabia

Humor is one of the best pieces of clothing that you can wear in society. - Shakespeare

Men are men in whom puberty and midlife crisis smoothly across. - Anke Engelke

Bart, you can even just hold the steering wheel? I have to scratch myself in two places! Homer Simpson
Aspirin did not do it, so I brought you some cigarettes. - Homer Simpson

The more often a stupidity is repeated, the more it gets the appearance of wisdom. - Voltaire

Marriage is the only lifelong conviction, when one can be pardoned because of poor leadership. - Alfred Hitchcock
We all live under the same sky, but we do not all have the same horizon.-  Konrad Hermann Joseph Adenauer

Natural mind can replace almost every level of education, but no formation of the natural mind. - Arthur Schopenhauer