If Money Talks

"I wonder what we hear all the time If 'MONEY TALKS'. You hear it shout 'GOODBYE' all the time!"

Wanna speak to someone

"Many time I really wanna start speaking to someone but just don't have the courage to start conversation with them.. Did it happen to You?"

Remembering something funny.

"I am so uncontrollable because sometimes I randomly burst out laughing when I remember something funny."

You’re Worthless

"You’re the jelly to my burger,
the knife to my soup,
the glitter to my sushi,
and the ketchup to my icecream.
My point is, you’re worthless."

Strong Enough

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have."

Quit drinking

"I don't want to quit drinking because, as they say, winners never quit and quitters never win."

Understanding them

Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

Nasty Habits

"I got nasty habits - I take tea at three."

For women

"If American politics are too dirty for women to take part in, there's something wrong with American politics."

Iron Man 3 2013 Quotes

Time for Iron Man 3 quotes, some of emmm are really hilarious and funny, after all Tony Stark has funny sense of humor, i'm still waiting for the movie at local cinema ....

The Mandarin: Ladies, children, sheep... Some people call me a terrorist. I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one: Heroes, there is no such thing.

Tony Stark: I have a lot of apologies to make... Nothing's been the same since New York. You experience things, and then they're over. I can't sleep, and when I do I have nightmares. Honestly, there's a hundred people who want to kill me. I hope I can protect the one thing I can't live without...


Tony Stark: I have a lot of apologies to make... I'm so sorry for putting you in harm's way... I'm going to find out who did this...

The Mandarin: You'll never see me coming...


Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

Tony Stark: [to Pepper] Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

The Mandarin: Mr Stark, today is the first day of what's left of your life.

Tony Stark: We do need backup...
James Rhodes: That's your department.
Tony Stark: There's my boys..


Tony Stark: You're not a man. You're nothing more than a maniac. I'm not afraid of you. No politics here: just good old fashioned revenge!

Aldrich Killian: The whole world's gonna be watching.

The Mandarin: I'm gonna offer the choice: do you want an empty life, or a meaningful death?

Sal Kennedy: You elected me on a single platform. I will defend this country at all costs. The Mandarin must be stopped!


 Tony Stark: [suits up] You know, it's moments like these when I realize how much of a superhero I am.
Pepper Potts: Wow!


Tony Stark: I'm here on a mission: fighting back.

Tony Stark: Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.


Rescue: I got you!
Tony Stark: I got you first!

The Mandarin: My soldiers are coming. NOTHING can save you!
Tony Stark: We'll see about that.

Source of Iron Man 3 quotes http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300854/

Looking at a lake

"I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something."

An envelope

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Chemistry

"Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it."

Two kinds of people

"The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos."

Real woman

"How do you know that you are a real woman? I don't get hot flashes, I get power surges!"

This game

"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."

Life and death

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death; I can assure them it is much more serious than that."

Annoying

How do you know that not all men are annoying? Because some of them are not alive!

Today

What is TODAY? It us the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!

Ups and downs

What do they mean with "the ups and downs of life"?
Sometimes you are the bird and sometimes you are the windshield!

Children do things

"Why do children do things that they know will get them into trouble? Because forgiveness is easier to get than permission!"

Lot of times

"I think a lot of times we don't pay enough attention to people with a positive attitude because we assume they are naive or stupid or unschooled."

If work was so good

"If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves."

You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence that you tried.

Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.

The reason I put “If it’s in you, I’ll find it” is, if I waste good time and money looking for it, and see it’s definitely not in you, I don’t wanna be sued ‘cos you haven’t got it, so, you know, not gonna get me on that.

Hilarious Travel Quotes and Sayings

People love traveling. It gives amazing experience of life and broaden your view. But humorists have not left this subject from being punched. So here are hilarious travel quotes to enjoy.

Traveling is seeing; it is the implicit that we travel by.
- Cynthia Ozick

Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on,
deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.
- Miriam Beard

I've always enjoyed traveling and having experience with different cultures and different people. But it's also a wonderful thing to be able to benefit and enable research, not only in our country but around the world.
- Laurel Clark

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
- Unknown

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
– George Carlin

Travel is fatal to bigotry, prejudice, and narrow-mindedness.
- Mark Twain

It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

In both business and personal life, I've always found that travel inspires me more than anything else I do. Evidence of the languages, cultures, scenery,
food, and design sensibilities that I discover all over the world can be found in every piece of my jewelry.
- Ivanka Trump

A wise traveler never despises his own country.
- William Hazlitt

I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.
- Guy Clark

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
– Russell Baker

The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.
He goes "sight-seeing."
- Daniel J. Boorstin

If you are going through hell, keep going.
– Winston Churchill

No matter where I've been overseas, the food stinks, except in Italy.
- Carmen Electra

The attention of a traveller, should be particularly turned, in the first place, to the various works of Nature, to mark the distinctions of the climates he may explore,
and to offer such useful observations on the different productions as may occur.
- William Bartram

The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one's appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.
- Amelia Earhart

Travel, instead of broadening the mind, often merely lengthens the conversation.
- Elizabeth Drew

"Tourists -- have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."
- David Letterman

Funny Airport Jokes

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious and funny. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while
making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Funny Quotes on/for Bikes

'Guys and girls are crazy for bikes. They love to go for a speedy ride. So here are some funny quotes to be written on bikes to show your attitude and style.'

Yeah, it's my Grand pa's Road! Got problem?

I love to go out ride her hard get her Dirty and then bring her home to a nice Bubble bath out in my yard.

Even don cant catch me'

Free rides for beautiful gals!!

"I'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about God than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle."

Hell on wheels...

Beside me or behind me... Real women don't ride bitch.

I need men for some things, riding a motorcycle is not one of them' :)

if you are bad... I am your dad...

Save a horse, ride a Harley!

I'm a Harley bitch, just not yours.

If i ride the bike heads will turn, roads will burn

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

At my age, it's the best way to get major thrusts pumping between my thighs"

I am not a playboy but i know how to play...

Twist me.

If you can read this, I left him at home.

Girls + Bike = Freedom

If you're gonna ride my ass, might as well pull my hair!

Knees to the breeze and do as you please.

Deal with it...girls ride too!

I hate all the Girls but you..

What's the quality of the text? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'

Funny Interesting Quotes to Jest with Friends

'It seems so boring when you are with friends and you don't find any topic to speak on. Don't worry, Here are funny interesting quotes to jest, taunt and giggle with friends.'



My favorite line: "I'll do it later.

I look at some of my friends and think: why the hell do I love this retard?

I really confused to differentiate between being hungry and being bored.

My depression increases by 100% when I walk into Office.

Magician: See, Now I will cut this girl in half.
Some shouts: Why turn one problem into two?

That surprising moment when you smack the remote and it works again.

I always advise people never to give advice.

That one minute party kids have when the teacher leaves the room.

Life a big question that even Google can't answer.

Best friends - We are the siblings from different parents.

Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?

The awkward moment when you realize you have a lot in common with the person you hate.

3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. and last but not least - Slow Internet.

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday, yet Friday is so damn close to Monday.

Friends: "Your parents are so chill!
Me: "Lol it's cause you're here

Read interesting Book Quotes to understand their value.

Today’s Generation

"I hate today’s Generation where phones are Smart but people are Dumb!"

That painful moment

"That painful moment when you leap to your bed in the dark and miss.."

That laugh

"Everybody has that one friend in circle with a very funny laugh."

Too much of my time

Why do I spend too much of my time imagining stuff that will never happen?

Really strange

It’s really strange when they forget your existence until they need something.

My WIsh

I really wish that exercising was as easy as eating.

Funny Tablets Quotes - Mobile Sayings

If water-proof tablets were invented, I think I would get a lot more work done in the shower.



I do not always lose my phone, but when I do, its always on silent mode.



Look for when the environment is changing - the big shift now is mobile Internet. It's really happening big-time. The way you interact with services on a smart phone compared to the Web is quite different, so there's a huge opportunity.
- Niklas Zennstrom

My sweet phone: Sometimes I drop you, say I hate you, throw you, lose you. I forget about you but I just can not live without you.

We will have more Internet, larger numbers of users, more mobile access, more speed, more things online and more appliances we can control over the Internet.
- Vinton Cerf

Today there are hundreds of millions of mobile devices, but you do have to know a bit about what each device is capable of doing in order to approach it as a developer.
- John Fowler

In the film, I'm not very mobile, like in the space suit.
- Verne Troyer

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.
- Neil Kinnock

Attached

Once you're attached, you're killed.

Self control

Self control: The ultimate ability to prevent myself from beating the bad names out of someone who desperately needs it.

Imagining in class

You must be thinking of it now! See, there are lots of things we are forced to learn but when it comes to practical life, their usage is almost zero. So this cute student sitting in the class and getting surprise that when he gonna use it in future. I hope you won't ask this from your tutor.

That Awkward Moment

That Awkward Moment when you have not wear anything, trying to get dressed and your pet is staring at you.

37 Funny Quotes For Happy Day

'Make your day happy and entertaining with these 37 cute, innocent, rare but so humorous funny saying quotes.'

1. There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and.
- Brad Ramsey

1a. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henny Youngman


2. I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
- Gilda Radner

3. Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing

4. Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
- Groucho Marx

5. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
- Rene Descartes

6. I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
- Alan Coren

7. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

8. No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.
- H.L. Mencken

9. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
- Unknown

10.Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol.
- Unknown

11. Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
- Fran Lebowit

12. How I see it is that men get one night of pleasure, and we get nine months of putting them through hell and getting away with it.
- Sara Swank

13. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
- Unknown

14. The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
- Franklin Jones

15. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright

16. The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
- Casey Stengal

17. Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
- Dave Berry

18. Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.
- Proverb

19. When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
- Molly McGee

20. Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
- Sam Ewing

21. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
- Unknown

22. If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
- Unknown

23. Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, and disposable.
- Mrs. White, Clue

24. Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it.
- Salvador Dali

25. After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why the doctors wear masks in the operating room.
- Unknown

26. Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother c

27. Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.
- George Carlin

28. School is like a lollipop. It sucks until it is gone.
- Ashley Salvati

29. Anyone seen in a bus over the age of 30 has been a failure in life.
- Loelia, Duchess of Westminster

30. Children are the most expensive form of entertainment.
- Mihaela Iosof

31. The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
- "Smile" Zingers

32. For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare

33. I'm strong, I'm tough, I still wear my eyeliner.
- Lisa Leslie

34. If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
- Doug Larson

35. I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

36. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

37. You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution."
- Unknown

Everytime you able to find some humor in difficult situation, you win